The Lost Art of Conversation

Awhile back one of my favorite blogs did a post about the (lost) art of letter writing. I would like to take it a step further and say that real, honest, authentic conversation…aka..discourse…is a swiftly dying art.

One only need look at the recent surge of popularity of Twitter, Facebook and the like.  Status updates and “tweets” are now a regular part of not only the print lingo of young adults but the spoken vernacular as well.  If one can’t say it in a “soundbyte” it ought not be said; at least that is the modern motto.

So what can one do in this world ever dwindling attention spans…here are a few tips, in my humble opinion, that I hope prove helpful…

Skip the Movie…Go Old School

While I am a big fan of movies, they don’t exactly foster great conversation.  Playing a good came of cards, going fishing or hunting, building a puzzle together, etc…are just some ways you can open the floor to great conversation.  In addition, these activities force one to be intentional and thoughtful…which in turn can help broaden the attention span.

Skip the Superficial…Go Deeper

“Small minds talk about people, Good minds talk about events, Great minds talk about ideas”.  While this may sound like a cliché, it is a good motto to guide great conversation.  Don’t just gossip or discuss trivial superficial events, instead dig deeper to things that actually matter.  You can learn a lot about a person if you are willing to do this and you will find your friendships have much deeper roots.

Ask Questions…Don’t Assume

Not everyone grew up like you, and not everyone thinks like you.  If a comment comes across as rude, insulting or puzzling, ask questions to clarify the speaker’s intent.  Don’t just assume they meant something mean or hateful. 

Find Common Ground

Even if you disagree on just about everything, attempt to find some common ground with your intraocular.  It makes for a good starting and ending point and leaves a good taste in the mouth of everyone involved.  I am not saying one should lie or even capitulate or kowtow, what I am saying is that you should listen and make a strong attempt to find something you agree on.  This way, you will have a better chance of having a great conversation in the future with this person. 

I hope this info has proven helpful. 

Singing Robot

Every Wednesday I bring you a weird, wild or wacky tale that has crossed my path.

 

This story comes to us from The Sun-A singing robot; personally I think it sounds like every other pop-synth deva on the market today, but I will let you be the judge.

::Video Below::

Adolph Coors

Every Tuesday I search the  headlines as well as the depths of my own personal life to try and find a soothing story to salve the soul.

I heard this man give his testimony on the radio, what a powerful story of love and forgiveness…here is the opening…

Daddy didn't come home. And the bullets that tore the life from his body also tore the life from his family.

"We had an ideal family and were living the American Dream," remembers Adolph Coors IV. "We had the home in the mountains, wealth, social success and parents who loved us and took time to let us know their love. My life was almost everything a boy could want. Then on February 9, 1960, our world was ripped apart."

that morning Adolph Herman Joseph Coors III left his mountain ranch at the usual 7:30 AM. It was only 12 miles from the ranch to the Coors brewery in Golden, Colorado, a short pleasant drive on a crisp winter morning. He would be early for work - as usual.

But Adolph Coors III, president of the brewery his grandfather had begun in an abandoned tannery, never arrived at the office…

I encourage you to read the rest of the story as it is very powerful.  If this man can get to the point where he can offer his forgiveness to the man that killed his father, than what are we waiting for?  Perhaps you know someone that you need to forgive today?  Perhaps they hurt you very badly, dishonored you or your family name, or perhaps they let you down in a time of need.  I encourage to entertain and act on the thought of forgiveness; just as Christ has done or will do for you today. 

Balancing the Why and How

Every Monday I offer up my thoughts on management; personal and professional

 

Goals-“Dreams with Deadlines.”  

When looking to achieve a goal, it is crucial to examine the “Why” and not just the “How”.  The reason: Achieving an unexamined goal will only bring limited satisfaction.

Asking why leads to introspection and refinement, which in turn, leads to healthier, more personally fulfilling goals.  This not only goes for one’s personal life but their professional one as well; if the executive team has only the how and not the why, it will come across to junior management as shallow and uninspired. 

Communicating why a goal has been set helps motivate and focus not only your subordinates but yourself as well.  Having a true grasp of why you want to get something accomplished will go a long way to helping you become a more effective person: at work and at home. 

Back to My Blogging Beginning

 

Ok, So one of my dear friends @singing4god8692 told me I should go back to my roots, back to my Xanga. 

 

So, after careful research and a bit of tweaking, I discovered that WLW is capable of direct publishing to Xanga and DereksDiscourse at the same time.

 

So, after a long absence, I am now back on Xanga.  I am still sad that they require a membership fee (albeit a cheap one) for premium features that Blogger offers for free, but what can you do?  Xanga is where I got my start, where I wrote my first blog entry back in 2004, it is where I met my wife, as well as my good friend Bethany (Singing4God) so I must give Xanga some props.

 

Hope all is well with you guys and gals. 

 

-dc-

D is for derEk-E #2

We are all in a battle whether we acknowledge it or not

E ngaged in battle; every hour of every day we are fighting three effective nemies:  The flesh, the world, and the Devil. The most exceptional Christians still struggle with these enemies daily.

 

I must humbly confess:  many times have I fallen; many times have I failed.  Oft do I stumble; oft do I fall. I try’n rise up; I get shoved down.
Oft do I need a helping hand… every now and again. 

 

I would be surprised if many of you did not have a similar story.  So, why?  Why do we do it?

 

Well, I don’t have all the answers, but based on biblical teachings and my own personal experience, here are a few reasons why we regress:

 

1. Lack of Focus

   • We loose our heavenly focus and begin to get caught up in the temporal things of this world.

2. Lack of Discipline

   • We stop reading our Bible and going to church.  We loose interest in small group studies and stop sharing the gospel.  Ultimately this will lead to a lack of interest in all things Godly. 
     

3. Lack of Consistency

   • Compromise can be good, but not when it comes to sin.  It is like a tiny snowball rolling down a powdery white mountain.  Soon it gets bigger and bigger and you are giving in to sins you would never have dreamed of giving into, doing things you never dreamed you would.
     

4. Lack of Spiritual Growth

   • This ties into Lack of Discipline.  If you never go to church, never read your Bible, and never fellowship in small groups with other believers, you will never grow.  You will shift like the grimy green waves in the salty sad sea; you will believe strange and unbiblical doctrines because you don’t know any better. Just as ignorance is no excuse for breaking the law, such is the case with sin as well.

I am by no means above failure nor am I perfect.  I have found, however, that when I am involved with a small group study, attending church regularly, reading my bible daily and focused on things that have eternal significance, I stumble and fall less frequently.  You never know what is waiting, lurking in the darkness to trip you up.

 

Currently listening to: Loreena McKennitt - Fulll Circle (Mostly Classical - S K Y . F M)

D is for deRek- R

R ealizing you are a bad person is not enough to get you
edeemed or even to really change your external behavior. 
ealization is the spark that lights an intrinsic struggle that if not tamed will lead to depression and even suicide. 

 

What must accompany realization is repentance.  (For Greek Scholars, I am speaking of metanoia repentance).  You see, it wasn’t enough for me just to realize I was a bad person.  I had to make a true decision from the heart to change my ways; in order to change my ways I had to change my mind; moreover, in order to change my mind I had to change my heart.

 

Just one problem, I couldn’t change my heart, not on my own.  I could certainly try, and perhaps even superficially succeed.  But the truth was I would always revert back to sin because I was a slave to my own flesh.  Rationalizations routed out reason thusly enabling more reprehensible behavior, which always preceded remorse, and finally regret.  ‘Twas a never ending repetition. 

 

Finally in April of 2002 in the town of Falls Church, VA I cried out to God.  I was broken and afraid.  I hated who I was.  I cried out to God to forgive me and become Lord of my life.  He heard me and I was saved from myself, from my sin, from a life and eternity of separation from Him.  

 

The addendum to the aforementioned story is this:  From a material perspective I had more than I could ask for.  I was deployed to a small town in northern Virginia.  The Army was paying for a nice apartment 10 miles away from D.C.  I had a hot tub and pool 40 feet from my back door.  I was making good money and had quite a bit in the bank.  I had beautiful women who wanted to go out on dates with me.  I literally had it made and I was not yet 20.  So, why did I need God?

 

Because none of the previously mentioned fleshly goodies made me happy is why I needed God.  Money, women, cushy job, none of it meant anything when I lay down my head at night.  None of those things could answer the question of why I existed and give me a true sense of peace and purpose.  Only Christ could offer me the answers to those questions.  My life did not, has not nor will it ever get easier just because I surrendered my life to Him.  But I do know that even during the hardest of times, He is with me. 

 

I am blessed.   So why go back to sin?  Why revert back to my old ways?  The second “E” can explain. 

 

D is for dErek- E

The way we see ourselves depends on what mirror we use.

 

 

03:15PM 

 

Eventually there comes a time when living a lie takes an
motional toll.  To help me cope with my fears and insecurities I developed a proclivity towards unhealthy addictions. 

 

I began traversing a dangerous path that would lead to three addictions:  nicotine, naughty pictures and knowledge.

 

EXAMINED 

 

Firstly: nicotine.  It began with chewing tobacco in middle school, then cigarettes and dip in high school.  It helped ease my nerves and let me escape from my problems, even if for a moment.  Although I haven’t really smoked as a habit in many years, hardly a stressful situation goes by that doesn’t cause me to wish for a smoke or even a black and mild. 

 

Secondly: Naughty Pictures.  Pornography to be exact.  I have already done an extensive series on porn in this blog, so I won’t go into too much detail here.  What I will say is that Playboys turned into Penthouses and Penthouses themselves turned into hardcore movies, which turned into internet porn: the crack/cocaine of porn addiction.  I will let this humorous yet very true picture make my point for me….

If you can’t read it, it states: “What has been seen cannot be unseen”.  I have said it before and I will say it again, porn is a degenerative addiction that slips and slopes into a swamp of sub-human smut. 

 

Thirdly: Knowledge.  “But wait” you cry “How is this a bad thing?”  Well, on the surface, it isn’t.  But as Demtri Martin says here, when used as a coping mechanism for dealing with insecurity, it can become a hindrance to developing happy healthy social habits.  When solving puzzles and having knowledge becomes your way measuring self-worth, (instead of measuring yourself by the intrinsic worth that you were fearfully and wonderfully created,) it is an addiction. 

 

Lucky for me, when I was eighteen years old I was deployed to Falls Church, VA with my National Guard unit; I realized that my entire life, which I had so carefully plotted out, was turning out nothing like the picturesque utopia in my mind.  It is during this time that I began to examine my external circumstances; this lead to a sustained introspection, a true reflection on who I really was.  And I didn’t like what I saw one bit. 

 

It was time to Reconsider my Rationalizations and Realize the dystopia my life had become.  I needed to be Reconciled and Redeemed.  The next post will be brought to you by the letter R. 

 

D is for Derek- D

Peer pressure, pride, and a phony persona: The perfect pot of poison.

 

The church kid.  The funny guy.  Mr. Random.  A good egg.  An actor.  A good friend.  Crackhead.  Dependable.  Well spoken and well read.  A fun guy to be around.  Trustworthy. Somewhat crazy.  Entertaining.  Smart.

 

All of the above were words used to describe my late middle and high school years by my friends and schoolmates.  And they were all right.  The truth was I could be anybody at anytime.

 

You see, I was never really me most of the time.  Only certain, very close friends ever got to see the real Derek Cormier.  Everyone else saw but a mere puppet of peer pressure.  I could usually read people pretty quickly and knew what they wanted or needed me to be and so that was who I was to them at that moment in time. 

 

The problem is I was living a lie and those get mighty hard to keep up with after awhile.  I became lonely, angry and depressed and worn out.  No one really truly cared for me only the personas I presented. 

 

There was only one person I couldn’t fool, and that was me.  I knew what I really was, what I really stood for and what was inside my heart.  I just thought if I never examined it, than it wasn’t really there.  The same way one might turn up the radio to mask the unusual clamoring coming from the car. 

 

At some point, the car is going to break down and have to be examined.  And so it was with me.   D is for Degenerating, Disgusting and downright dirty. 

 

Next up is E for Examined. 

 

Why I Blog?

Why bother?

 

So, this question came to me and I thought I would share the answer with everyone.  Why do I blog?  Sub-questions included: “Does anybody even read it?  Do you actually think you are going to build up an audience or make a big impact?” 

The answer to all the sub-questions is pretty much: No.  Hardly anybody reads this blog and most that do are family or close friends.  The thought that this blog will ever get famous is nonsensical at best and deranged at worst.  I have no delusions of grandeur and am fully aware that it won’t happen.

 

So, this brings us back to the original question; why write this blog?  Two main reasons:  Firstly, I write it for me;  writing has always been therapeutic for me.  Taking my thoughts and putting them on paper always has been helpful to me.  Secondly, to hopefully open up a discourse for the few people that do read it.  My hope is that the issues I bring up here will give them an excuse to discuss them with their friends and family.  Sort of a “Hey, I read something about this today, what do you think about it?” 

 

Would I love to get a million readers?  Absolutely.  But the truth is, at least for me, if I can have the slightest impact on even one person, I am content.  And that is why I write. 

 

A quick poem

 

 

Just a quick poem I wrote in notepad.  Forgive the cheesy YouTube video, but it is easier to upload a video than just audio actually.

 

D is for Derek-Prologue

We all have a past and a present…how we acknowledge and perceive them heavily impacts our future.

 

09:00PM

Well, we have finally arrived to the topic you all have been waiting for: me.  No, I am not narcissistic and I don’t actually believe that this series will in any way be more popular or somehow above my previous ones.  My reason behind doing this series is to shed a little bit of light on who I am and why I think, act and behave the way I do. 

 

My life has been far from perfect and even further from how I planned it to be.  I have been raised up and thrown down, beaten back and ushered in, been told to go and said heck no.  Most of all I have been (and am) loved more than I ever deserved to be.  The next few posts are not for the faint of heart.  I made a promise to myself and my readers to be open and transparent.  Sometimes the truth is ugly and hurtful and often in direct contrast to the shiny shell we show the world. 

 

I am not sure how many posts this series will take up but I intend it to be a five part series.  Each post will have something to do with my name (D is for this, E is for that, etc…) but I may end up having to break up some of those posts into multiple parts due to length.  If you have ever wanted to know the real Derek Cormier, then please return on Monday.  If you are afraid of what you might find out, then don’t. 

 

-dc-

 

Currently listening to: Temple of the Dog – Hunger Strike

Thursday’s at IHOP

“And how do we keep our balance?…Tradition!”
–Fiddler on the Roof

 

08:41PM

 

A few months back, when I came to Lufkin, I started a tradition.  After hours of doing inventory in my movie theater and other Thursday night business, I would head out to IHOP.  Sometimes my assistant managers would join me, other times my projectionist would accompany me.  It soon sprang into a weekly tradition. Employees would eagerly ask if we were still doing “the IHOP thing” on Thursday nights.  I have long since resigned and moved on from my position at the movie theater, but I still get texts, emails, and facebook messages asking me about it every Thursday.

 

Tonight is going to be the last IHOP Thursday for quite a few of my old employees.  You see, they are seniors and a majority of them are going off to college.  My advice to them:  “Start a new tradition when you arrive at college, and start it soon”.  Traditions offer one a sense of normalcy, even whilst they tread amongst the daunting shadows of unfamiliarity.  

 

I encourage all of you, if you don’t already have one, to begin a weekly or bi-monthly tradition, something that helps offer familiarity and normalcy and perhaps a brief respite from the chaos of the world. 

 

What do you think about traditions?  Do you have any?  Are you looking to start a new one?  What say you?

 

Currently listening to: Rig the Jig’s - My Home by Lough Ree (liveIreland)

 

August Webcast/Podcast Up

 

 

 

 

 

August Webcast

Delicious Links

 

Here are some collected links from my Delicious account.  If you don’t know what Delicious is, it is a public bookmarking site where you can share and store your bookmarks online.  It is great for when you are on the go and have you use someone else’s computer or a public computer. 

 

Here are a collection of some of the links I have collected over the last week or so.  I will share these periodically to expose you, my readers, to a plethora of different sites on the net. 

 

• Google
• Job Search | one search. all jobs. Indeed
• Merkel's cleavage heats up German vote campaign
• #1 Voice Over Exchange for VoiceOver, Voice Overs,Free VoiceOver, Free VoiceOvers, Voice Over Talent and Voice Actors - Radiodaddy.com
• Eight Christians Killed in Pakistan Riots - WSJ.com
• YouTube - Dr. uni-ball Check Washing
• SHOUTcast Radio

Auto parsed by delicious bookmark plugin

 

Timestamps, Music and More.

Those dogs are almost as excited as I am.

11:50PM - So, just a quick note to let you know about some new features/aesthetic changes in my blog. I have been working with some new WLW plug-ins and am happy to announce two new features in my blog. First is the timestamp function.

11:55PM - Thanks to a simple C# code and a dynamic text template I can insert the exact time I am blogging. I feel this will add both a personalized touch as well as an aesthetically pleasing way to approach my blog.

11:56PM - Another feature is the “Now Playing” feature. It shares with you the tunes that keep me going whilst I write away.

(Please note, not every blog will contain this many timestamps. I am overdoing it to test out the code.)

Currently listening to: David Lanz - Variations on a Theme from Pachelbel's Canon in D Major (Solo Piano - S K Y . F M )

Welcome

Grab a glass of iced tea and let’s talk

 

 

Welcome to my small corner of the blog world: Derek’s Discourse.

I also have a myspace and a facebook as well as a twitter.

If you would like, you an subscribe to my posts via RSS or via Email.  If you are unsure of what RSS is, check out this video.

 

Let’s Talk

 

Email me: DerekJamesCormier@gmail.com

 

Google Voice:  (434) 352-1472

 

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