The way we see ourselves depends on what mirror we use.
03:15PM
Eventually there comes a time when living a lie takes an
motional toll. To help me cope with my fears and insecurities I developed a proclivity towards unhealthy addictions.
I began traversing a dangerous path that would lead to three addictions: nicotine, naughty pictures and knowledge.
EXAMINED
Firstly: nicotine. It began with chewing tobacco in middle school, then cigarettes and dip in high school. It helped ease my nerves and let me escape from my problems, even if for a moment. Although I haven’t really smoked as a habit in many years, hardly a stressful situation goes by that doesn’t cause me to wish for a smoke or even a black and mild.
Secondly: Naughty Pictures. Pornography to be exact. I have already done an extensive series on porn in this blog, so I won’t go into too much detail here. What I will say is that Playboys turned into Penthouses and Penthouses themselves turned into hardcore movies, which turned into internet porn: the crack/cocaine of porn addiction. I will let this humorous yet very true picture make my point for me….
If you can’t read it, it states: “What has been seen cannot be unseen”. I have said it before and I will say it again, porn is a degenerative addiction that slips and slopes into a swamp of sub-human smut.
Thirdly: Knowledge. “But wait” you cry “How is this a bad thing?” Well, on the surface, it isn’t. But as Demtri Martin says here, when used as a coping mechanism for dealing with insecurity, it can become a hindrance to developing happy healthy social habits. When solving puzzles and having knowledge becomes your way measuring self-worth, (instead of measuring yourself by the intrinsic worth that you were fearfully and wonderfully created,) it is an addiction.
Lucky for me, when I was eighteen years old I was deployed to Falls Church, VA with my National Guard unit; I realized that my entire life, which I had so carefully plotted out, was turning out nothing like the picturesque utopia in my mind. It is during this time that I began to examine my external circumstances; this lead to a sustained introspection, a true reflection on who I really was. And I didn’t like what I saw one bit.
It was time to Reconsider my Rationalizations and Realize the dystopia my life had become. I needed to be Reconciled and Redeemed. The next post will be brought to you by the letter R.
