And So It Ends…

Every Journey Comes To An End…Eventually

Back to My Blogging Beginning

 

Ok, So one of my dear friends @singing4god8692 told me I should go back to my roots, back to my Xanga. 

 

So, after careful research and a bit of tweaking, I discovered that WLW is capable of direct publishing to Xanga and DereksDiscourse at the same time.

 

So, after a long absence, I am now back on Xanga.  I am still sad that they require a membership fee (albeit a cheap one) for premium features that Blogger offers for free, but what can you do?  Xanga is where I got my start, where I wrote my first blog entry back in 2004, it is where I met my wife, as well as my good friend Bethany (Singing4God) so I must give Xanga some props.

 

Hope all is well with you guys and gals. 

 

-dc-

D is for derEk-E #2

We are all in a battle whether we acknowledge it or not

E ngaged in battle; every hour of every day we are fighting three effective nemies:  The flesh, the world, and the Devil. The most exceptional Christians still struggle with these enemies daily.

 

I must humbly confess:  many times have I fallen; many times have I failed.  Oft do I stumble; oft do I fall. I try’n rise up; I get shoved down.
Oft do I need a helping hand… every now and again. 

 

I would be surprised if many of you did not have a similar story.  So, why?  Why do we do it?

 

Well, I don’t have all the answers, but based on biblical teachings and my own personal experience, here are a few reasons why we regress:

 

1. Lack of Focus

   • We loose our heavenly focus and begin to get caught up in the temporal things of this world.

2. Lack of Discipline

   • We stop reading our Bible and going to church.  We loose interest in small group studies and stop sharing the gospel.  Ultimately this will lead to a lack of interest in all things Godly. 
     

3. Lack of Consistency

   • Compromise can be good, but not when it comes to sin.  It is like a tiny snowball rolling down a powdery white mountain.  Soon it gets bigger and bigger and you are giving in to sins you would never have dreamed of giving into, doing things you never dreamed you would.
     

4. Lack of Spiritual Growth

   • This ties into Lack of Discipline.  If you never go to church, never read your Bible, and never fellowship in small groups with other believers, you will never grow.  You will shift like the grimy green waves in the salty sad sea; you will believe strange and unbiblical doctrines because you don’t know any better. Just as ignorance is no excuse for breaking the law, such is the case with sin as well.

I am by no means above failure nor am I perfect.  I have found, however, that when I am involved with a small group study, attending church regularly, reading my bible daily and focused on things that have eternal significance, I stumble and fall less frequently.  You never know what is waiting, lurking in the darkness to trip you up.

 

Currently listening to: Loreena McKennitt - Fulll Circle (Mostly Classical - S K Y . F M)

D is for deRek- R

R ealizing you are a bad person is not enough to get you
edeemed or even to really change your external behavior. 
ealization is the spark that lights an intrinsic struggle that if not tamed will lead to depression and even suicide. 

 

What must accompany realization is repentance.  (For Greek Scholars, I am speaking of metanoia repentance).  You see, it wasn’t enough for me just to realize I was a bad person.  I had to make a true decision from the heart to change my ways; in order to change my ways I had to change my mind; moreover, in order to change my mind I had to change my heart.

 

Just one problem, I couldn’t change my heart, not on my own.  I could certainly try, and perhaps even superficially succeed.  But the truth was I would always revert back to sin because I was a slave to my own flesh.  Rationalizations routed out reason thusly enabling more reprehensible behavior, which always preceded remorse, and finally regret.  ‘Twas a never ending repetition. 

 

Finally in April of 2002 in the town of Falls Church, VA I cried out to God.  I was broken and afraid.  I hated who I was.  I cried out to God to forgive me and become Lord of my life.  He heard me and I was saved from myself, from my sin, from a life and eternity of separation from Him.  

 

The addendum to the aforementioned story is this:  From a material perspective I had more than I could ask for.  I was deployed to a small town in northern Virginia.  The Army was paying for a nice apartment 10 miles away from D.C.  I had a hot tub and pool 40 feet from my back door.  I was making good money and had quite a bit in the bank.  I had beautiful women who wanted to go out on dates with me.  I literally had it made and I was not yet 20.  So, why did I need God?

 

Because none of the previously mentioned fleshly goodies made me happy is why I needed God.  Money, women, cushy job, none of it meant anything when I lay down my head at night.  None of those things could answer the question of why I existed and give me a true sense of peace and purpose.  Only Christ could offer me the answers to those questions.  My life did not, has not nor will it ever get easier just because I surrendered my life to Him.  But I do know that even during the hardest of times, He is with me. 

 

I am blessed.   So why go back to sin?  Why revert back to my old ways?  The second “E” can explain. 

 

D is for Derek- D

Peer pressure, pride, and a phony persona: The perfect pot of poison.

 

The church kid.  The funny guy.  Mr. Random.  A good egg.  An actor.  A good friend.  Crackhead.  Dependable.  Well spoken and well read.  A fun guy to be around.  Trustworthy. Somewhat crazy.  Entertaining.  Smart.

 

All of the above were words used to describe my late middle and high school years by my friends and schoolmates.  And they were all right.  The truth was I could be anybody at anytime.

 

You see, I was never really me most of the time.  Only certain, very close friends ever got to see the real Derek Cormier.  Everyone else saw but a mere puppet of peer pressure.  I could usually read people pretty quickly and knew what they wanted or needed me to be and so that was who I was to them at that moment in time. 

 

The problem is I was living a lie and those get mighty hard to keep up with after awhile.  I became lonely, angry and depressed and worn out.  No one really truly cared for me only the personas I presented. 

 

There was only one person I couldn’t fool, and that was me.  I knew what I really was, what I really stood for and what was inside my heart.  I just thought if I never examined it, than it wasn’t really there.  The same way one might turn up the radio to mask the unusual clamoring coming from the car. 

 

At some point, the car is going to break down and have to be examined.  And so it was with me.   D is for Degenerating, Disgusting and downright dirty. 

 

Next up is E for Examined. 

 

A quick poem

 

 

Just a quick poem I wrote in notepad.  Forgive the cheesy YouTube video, but it is easier to upload a video than just audio actually.

 

D is for Derek-Prologue

We all have a past and a present…how we acknowledge and perceive them heavily impacts our future.

 

09:00PM

Well, we have finally arrived to the topic you all have been waiting for: me.  No, I am not narcissistic and I don’t actually believe that this series will in any way be more popular or somehow above my previous ones.  My reason behind doing this series is to shed a little bit of light on who I am and why I think, act and behave the way I do. 

 

My life has been far from perfect and even further from how I planned it to be.  I have been raised up and thrown down, beaten back and ushered in, been told to go and said heck no.  Most of all I have been (and am) loved more than I ever deserved to be.  The next few posts are not for the faint of heart.  I made a promise to myself and my readers to be open and transparent.  Sometimes the truth is ugly and hurtful and often in direct contrast to the shiny shell we show the world. 

 

I am not sure how many posts this series will take up but I intend it to be a five part series.  Each post will have something to do with my name (D is for this, E is for that, etc…) but I may end up having to break up some of those posts into multiple parts due to length.  If you have ever wanted to know the real Derek Cormier, then please return on Monday.  If you are afraid of what you might find out, then don’t. 

 

-dc-

 

Currently listening to: Temple of the Dog – Hunger Strike

Thursday’s at IHOP

“And how do we keep our balance?…Tradition!”
–Fiddler on the Roof

 

08:41PM

 

A few months back, when I came to Lufkin, I started a tradition.  After hours of doing inventory in my movie theater and other Thursday night business, I would head out to IHOP.  Sometimes my assistant managers would join me, other times my projectionist would accompany me.  It soon sprang into a weekly tradition. Employees would eagerly ask if we were still doing “the IHOP thing” on Thursday nights.  I have long since resigned and moved on from my position at the movie theater, but I still get texts, emails, and facebook messages asking me about it every Thursday.

 

Tonight is going to be the last IHOP Thursday for quite a few of my old employees.  You see, they are seniors and a majority of them are going off to college.  My advice to them:  “Start a new tradition when you arrive at college, and start it soon”.  Traditions offer one a sense of normalcy, even whilst they tread amongst the daunting shadows of unfamiliarity.  

 

I encourage all of you, if you don’t already have one, to begin a weekly or bi-monthly tradition, something that helps offer familiarity and normalcy and perhaps a brief respite from the chaos of the world. 

 

What do you think about traditions?  Do you have any?  Are you looking to start a new one?  What say you?

 

Currently listening to: Rig the Jig’s - My Home by Lough Ree (liveIreland)

 

Delicious Links

 

Here are some collected links from my Delicious account.  If you don’t know what Delicious is, it is a public bookmarking site where you can share and store your bookmarks online.  It is great for when you are on the go and have you use someone else’s computer or a public computer. 

 

Here are a collection of some of the links I have collected over the last week or so.  I will share these periodically to expose you, my readers, to a plethora of different sites on the net. 

 

• Google
• Job Search | one search. all jobs. Indeed
• Merkel's cleavage heats up German vote campaign
• #1 Voice Over Exchange for VoiceOver, Voice Overs,Free VoiceOver, Free VoiceOvers, Voice Over Talent and Voice Actors - Radiodaddy.com
• Eight Christians Killed in Pakistan Riots - WSJ.com
• YouTube - Dr. uni-ball Check Washing
• SHOUTcast Radio

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