Finding a group of people who accept you is nice…finding a group that inspires and encourages you to be more like Christ is better.
‘Twas the second semester of my 9th grade year and I found myself back in Virginia. I struggled through both the last part of my freshman year as well as the first part of my sophomore year to find myself, to find somewhere I “fit in”. Since I already had a proclivity for acting in real life, I figured why not give it a shot on the stage. I opted for an elective class entitled “Drama I-Introduction to Theater”
I was hooked. Everything about the class appealed to me: the teacher, my fellow classmates, the chance to perform. After doing well in the entry level course, I opted my junior and senior year to take the performance class. Our team ended up winning several competitions, culminating with a Virginia AA State Championship in my senior year.
Everything about it should have felt right-I had good, loyal friends, I was good at something and being recognized with medals and championship rings, I was elected as one of the senior class officers. But despite the friendship, the achievement, the recognition, I still felt empty. It still felt like an act.
I was still addicted, still unhappy, still unsure, still depressed, and still wondered if I was good enough to ever be a “somebody”. It wasn’t until many years later I discovered that when one seeks intrinsic fulfillment from external sources, he or she will always feel a palpable despair when they discover it doesn’t work and never will.
I subsequently joined the Virginia National Guard, in hopes it would make me feel more deserving of what I had been given. I was seventeen years old and needed a parent’s permission slip to join.
I ended up not being able to ship out to OSUT (one station unit training) at Fort Leonardwood until 2001…guess what happened in the middle of boot camp? I’ll give you a hint, ‘twas around September.
My life was about to change…in a hurry.
