Everyone knows death is but one breath away, yet the sting and shock of loosing a loved one is never something no one can truly prepare for, nor its aftermath.
My father was diagnosed with a terminal cancer at the age of 48. He was mostly confined to bed for the rest of his short life, and he died less than 6 months after finding out the news.
Before being stricken with cancer, he was healthier than I was, stronger than I was, and had a lot of life to live.
If there was anything I learned from my dad’s last days it was this;
you have less time than you think. We all have this somewhat obtuse belief that we are going to live to see 80 and die in our sleep.
Sure we know death is real and could happen at anytime, but tis only a head knowledge; I am certain that if we took to heart this concept of ever fleeting time, we would live much differently.
After dad got sick, I took frequent trips from Texas to Tennessee to visit him.
I wish I could tell you that we had a novel-esque time, where everyone got along and we said our goodbyes and he passed from one world to the next smoothly. I wish it were true, but it is simply not.
My father never pulled me aside to have some long talk about how much he loved me or how he was proud of me; there was nothing even resembling a “final discussion”. My step-mother and half-sister had (and still have) very little to do with my side of family.
My father’s friends from church treated us as if we (my 2 brothers and I) were some sort of bastard children from a long lost life dad lived long ago. They were cold, callous, and careless towards us.
My father’s passing itself was slow and painful. As each sun would set, he would become weaker and weaker; as time grew short he lost most of his strength; he was unable to even walk or use the restroom alone. At the very end, he slumbered for most of the day and was virtually incoherent when awake.
He died on Nov. 16th, 2008; we held a memorial service two days later which I attended.
I was not informed of his burial until 4 months after it happened, so I was unable to attend it.
I tell you all of this not to discourage you, or to vent, but to simply illustrate a point. Life and the people in it are far from perfect. We all make bad decisions each and everyday.
I strongly urge you always keep your heart, along with your channels of communication, open. If you love someone, let them know it. If they have been a blessing to you, inform them.
If someone has hurt you, confront them lovingly and let them know, and most of all forgive them regardless of how they react. Life is too short to hold grudges, to figure who was wrong, who is better, and who deserves to be punished. Reflect His light, speak The Truth, and do it all in love, before its too late.
