Along the path of life, we will meet many who struggle from the bitter pangs of loneliness…what can we do?
Verse Reference: Mark 10:46-52
Sermon Reference: Pastor Alistar Begg- “All the Lonely People”
For many people reading this blog they need no explanation or definition of the word loneliness. The live it and breath it everyday. They are like the blind man in Mark 10, seeking out anyone who will listen.
There are many lonely people all around you; it may be a divorcee who longs to hear the laughter of his children or perhaps a widow who cooks dinner for one and cries every time she goes to sleep; maybe it’s a mother whose arms ache because she had a miscarriage and has no baby to hold or maybe an elderly person who can no longer care for themselves so they have been shoved into a nursing home to be forgotten like an old worn out dress…wishing a family member would come by and kiss their forehead.
What about the homeless man who longs for a soft touch or a conversation even more than money? They don’t need Noah Webster to define it for them. If you don’t know what loneliness feels like, have a conversation with one of these people and ask them.
Despite popular belief, crowds cannot slake the heart of one who suffers from loneliness. A man or woman who cries themselves to sleep at night wishing only for someone to talk too is no less lonely when they are at work or at a party…or at church.
It isn’t the insincere, superficial babblings about the weather or sports they seek, but instead they long for an authentic conversation with someone who truly cares and who will honestly listen.
And yes, I did say church; for even it has become a farrago of plastic smiles, tarradiddles of recent fishing expeditions, and other petty nonsense. Sycophants in suits look to further (or keep) their position in their local society by making sure everyone sees their red-letter jumbo Bible and new Benz in the parking lot. They are not interested in serving God nor His people or doing anything that would cause them any inconvenience.
Truth be told if we were all a little more honest with ourselves and those around us, we would come to the conclusion that David Ring came to in this sermon entitled “I’m not okay, you’re not okay”. (click for video) And if more people admitted they were not ok, then perhaps the lonely people would also admit they are not ok and that they need help. If they honestly felt they were not the only ones with issues than maybe they wouldn’t feel the need to bottle it up inside.
The key to helping someone who suffers from loneliness is honesty, forgiveness, transparency, and edification. You must show them that you struggle in this life too and that if it weren’t for the forgiveness of Christ you would have no hope. You must help them focus on the blessings they do have and show them that you are there to help in any way you can.
But what if you are the lonely person? What if you are the one heating up a meal for one, looking across the table at an empty chair wishing you just had someone you could talk too? What are you to do?
- Firstly, if you have not already, call upon the name of Jesus. Acknowledge Him as the Savior of mankind and turn away from sin. Christ promised that He would never leave us or forsake us, so you will never be alone again once you call upon Him.
- Secondly, seek out a Bible preaching church that places a strong emphasis on small groups or Bible studies. It is easy to get lost in a regular worship service with all the people and the pomp. Find a small group where people are seeking God’s face and seeking to encourage and edify each other because these are the type of people that you can be honest with and that will offer you love and biblical advice.
- Thirdly, focus on what blessings you do have. It is easy to get caught up in all the things we lack, to say “If I just had a friend, if I just had a husband or wife, If my mom or dad would just call me…” but the truth is you have no control over the actions of others. Be thankful for what you do have.
- Fourthly, if you think it is a chemical problem, such as clinical depression or bi-polar disorder, seek out professional help. Despite what some Christians will tell you, there is nothing sinful or shameful in seeking out professional help for mental disorders.
- Finally, once you begin to overcome your problem with loneliness remember that there are many others around you who suffer from the same hurt. Don’t forget them, offer them help and hope. Tell them what Jesus has done in your life and tell them they don’t have to be lonely anymore.
