Firstly, yes, it's been forever since I have posted, and I apologize. Life happens. I am well, and I hope you are as well. Let's jump back in shall we? (longer, "Where I've been" post to follow sometime in the future)
What's a Community Discussion?
It's a discussion on current topics that may otherwise be avoided due to a false sense of politeness or social decorum. After all, we aren't supposed to discuss religion or politics, right? WRONG!
If we never learn to converse on the treacherous topics, we never learn to grow, in spirit or truth. Instead we hide in an echo chamber...a safe place where everyone agrees and it's always US vs Them...and that is a dangerous place to live. In an age of tribalism, God's people must stand for unity, truth, grace and compassion to all.
It's not about proving a point...
Discussions are not debates. Yes, disagreements will arise and emotions may even run high, but that's okay. Discussions are not zero sum endeavors (We win, they loose) . Instead they are more like investigations...inquiries into the mind and soul of your neighbor.
Making the Most of it...
Firstly, as mentioned above, Investigate. This requires listening with your heart and mind. Don't just wait to talk and tear down. Look to the heart first, the head second. Questions like:
- That's an interesting opinion/thought/statement. How did you come to that conclusion?
- How long have you thought this way? Is this a belief you have always held or did you develop it later in life? (You never know if a major event or trauma caused someone to change their mind on a long held belief.)
Use Feeling Words!
So many people avoid the use of feeling words, but they are great ways to connect heart to soul with a neighbor. Simple examples:
- Sally, let me check in with you...it sounds like this issue is very frustrating for you, I hear some frustration and anger in your voice.
- Jim, I can see some tears and hear some trembling in your tone...this issue is very personal to you...do you want to share about that?
Attack ideas (with love) , never people.
If need-be, dangerous and troublesome ideas or those that do not bring us closer to Truth can be gently attacked. A good and loving way to approach the topic:
- Bill, thank you for sharing. Let me make sure I heard you right (accurately recap idea, wait for affirmative response) Well, I have to respectfully disagree, It's my understanding that the facts state (gently give your side)
End with Love
It's never easy to share opinions, thoughts or ideas especially ones that people hold very near and dear. People stake their very identity in long held traditional belief systems. Something along the lines of this can prove very loving and helpful...
- Whitney, even though we strongly disagreed on some issues tonight, I want you to know that I love you and am thankful for you. I am going to go home and reflect on some of the things you shared. I am glad you are here and grateful for your friendship.
While it may seem axiomatic, it is nevertheless important to reaffirm your love and friendship before the sun sets.
May God bless you richly in your future discussions.
May God bless you richly in your future discussions.
For Further Reading
Check out this book for more info on listening better. (It is also available on the Liby or Hoopla Library Apps. Check your AppStore/Playstore for more info)
